EMontWrites

If you’re a writer you write, right? Even when it hurts. After all, someone said great art comes from great pain.

Look at the work of Mary J. Blige and Adele. Mary’s song “Just Fine” doesn’t hit like “Not Gon’ Cry” and Adele’s “Someone Like You” or “Set Fire to the Rain” need I say more? Their pain and vulnerability birthed some of their best work.

One thing everyone in the world has in common is pain. We all have been or will be hurt by someone. To cope, we sing (read: scream) those songs over and over again. We can relate.

I’m trying to figure out how did they write these songs while they were hurting?

Last year was so painful, I struggle to put it into words. It was a year worth of writer’s block coupled with writer’s anxiety and grief let me tell you.

I didn’t want to come on here and be encouraging when I didn’t feel encouraged. My mind has been so stressed thinking about how to write out this pain I’m feeling in a single essay that’s going to change the world.

But I have it all wrong. I need to take the pressure off.

I need to stop worrying about if someone said it already or that I can only write one essay to sum it all up. I just need to write, about anything and nothing, whatever is on my heart. Now that I’ve been able to process some of the pain, I do feel like writing.

Which means I’m one step closer to feeling like myself again.

I’ve written every day for work for years, but lately when I get “off the clock” I just want to tune out the world and get lost on Netflix with a bottle of wine. Writing for fun felt taxing. But I’m coming around to that last stage of grief, acceptance.

I’m accepting the pressure, anxiety and pain 2020 brought me. Accepting that beyond all that, my voice is mine, it still matters, and it’s always been enough. So here I am, writing words again.

I’m getting there one post at a time. I’m not sure what I’m going to write about next, but I’m here.

Finally.

So when your world gets too heavy and you’re struggling to do what you love, take the pressure off of yourself. It’s OK to not be productive and be unmotivated sometimes, no matter what year it is.

Try to remember why you loved it in the first place. Your passion doesn’t completely go away, so take your time and let go of the weight you added to it.

I am a writer so I’m gonna keep writing. I’m not gon’ cry, it’s time to set fire to the rain.