The days of waiting for others is over! You know you can go out by yourself right?
8 times out of 10 when people want to hang out I’m secretly hoping they decide to cancel plans. But the occasion I want to go out and dance or have a drink, everyone is busy.
This was more the case when I didn’t know a soul in Phoenix and Wilmington. Being new to a city you don’t have friends to hang out with.
So I go out on my own.
Some nights I’d rather go out on my own than with a group of people. When I’m alone I go home when I want and don’t have to babysit the friend who had too much to drink.
If you’re tired of waiting on others to want to go out, or want to hit the town on your own and don’t know what to do, here are some tips!
Don’t be afraid
Contrary to popular belief, going out alone is not scary. As with anything you do in this crazy world, be mindful of what you’re getting into. Do some research on the location, the spot should be open and active on social media, if it’s not consider somewhere else. If you get to the spot and it looks sketchy, consider somewhere else. Use your best judgement, but you’re going to be OK.
It’s not awkward
I prefer places that I know will have a good amount of people inside. When I first started going out alone I went to this restaurant/bar that was empty. It was awkward being the only person sitting at the bar, so don’t put yourself in that situation. Instead, go to a place where you know you will have a good time. There’s so many people there no one is noticing you’re there by yourself and usually there’s a group who’ve had enough drinks to scream at you to join them.
Dance like no one’s watching
It’s normal to feel paranoid that everyone is watching you dance alone. But how many times have you gone out and noticed someone dancing alone at a club? Once? No one is staring out you, feeling sorry for you, etc. Everyone is out to have a good time so just hit the bar, grab a cranberry and liquid courage and dance your heart out by yourself.
Dress cute, but comfortable
You’re out alone breaking all the rules, you’re doing the damn thing! It’s even better when you’re not wearing something that makes you self cautious. The anxiety of going out alone is amplified when you’re uncomfortable in your clothes. Always tugging at your dress or pulling down your shirt. Wear something that you feel your best in. It makes it easier to dance like no one’s watching and enjoy the music and moments without worrying how you look.
Now is the time to act like you’re in front of the bathroom mirror about to get in the shower. You’re on the dance floor having the time of your life and not carrying what other people might think. Don’t look around, just waltz right into the crowd and live your best life. I find that going some place that has music that I love, is the best. I’m focused on me and the music. When I get tired, I go home.
Don’t drink too much
To be honest, there’s no one in the room who has your back but you. No friends to hold your shoes or your hair, and even if you meet some nice people they won’t know who you are when you need help. So don’t get slizzard. You have to know yourself and your limit to be able to know when to stop drinking and grab a water. There’s no one there to remind you.
If you’re out alone, stay alone
This might sound like something your mom would say, but never put your drink down. When I’m out alone I tend to stay in my own bubble. If someone does approach me I acknowledge them and keep it moving. I don’t accept drinks for anyone or really dance with anyone. If I dance with someone it’s brief. I have let someone buy me a drink but I try to keep my distance since I don’t have backup.
Going to a club alone is different than going to a bar/lounge alone
I prefer going to bars alone, but recently I’ve started going to clubs alone. One of my friends joined me while I was out and said “you’re here alone?” uhhh yea. Going to a bar alone requires all the previous tips I mentioned, but the bar is less chaotic.
I usually grab a drink at the bar when there’s a good game on TV or if some food if I’m hungry and just watch the game and chill. I’ll hit a bar for happy hour and surf through my phone. When I’m really in a unbothered mood I’ll write in my journal with a drink at the bar.
With bars, I don’t stay but maybe 2 hours at most. Football games are the only exception, I’ve been at a bar watching the Falcons from start to finish. The club I might be there for 3+ hours.
Hopefully these tips have been helpful! One of the best things happened to me while I was out a lone at a bar shooting pool. I got asked to join a pool league! And I’ve been shooting ever since and have met some really great people through it.
Don’t be afraid to go to a bar or a club alone. Do whatever you want to do, don’t wait for anybody.