The joys and pains of moving to a new city alone

Moving to a new city is stressful, even more so when you do it alone.

I’ve heard people say “you can reinvent yourself” or “you get a clean slate” but for me, I want to be the same person wherever I go. To me, having a clean slate means having to start all over again from the beginning and that’s not my idea of fun times.

But, moving to a new city has it’s great points too, like being able to go to Walmart looking a hot mess because you won’t run into someone you know. Or going out to the club and dancing like no one is watching because…no one is watching.

The pains…

This portion will be longer than the joys, because at the present moment it’s bookoo pains, but I always have to find the silver lining. Joys will come at the end.

When the dust settles from unpacking there’s this time period where you want to fall back into something familiar but, there is no familiar. In a new city you’re living your life 24/7 outside of your comfort zone.

I did the most, I moved clear across the country. I would tell anyone about to make the move from East to West to think on it long and hard.

It is a different world on the West. There is very little in the West that is similar to the East. Only thing I see in Arizona that reminds me of home (Georgia) is the Kroger brand items in Fry’s.

I’m not even kidding!

And life doesn’t stop long enough for you to get adjusted to life in a new city. You still have bills to pay. So you go to work, and get adjusted to the new city when you clock out.

Making friends as an adult is HARD. How does one turn a mutual disapproval of the price of grapes into a long lasting friendship?

Me: “$1.99 a pound?! Are they serious?”

Them: “This is straight robbery”

Me: “Want to be my friend?”

Or those countless solo nights out to dinner. Can one go sit with a random group of people and make friends?

Or when you’re driving UBER and your rider is so nice and friendly… “Hey! Thanks for the tip, mind if I join you here for some drinks?”

Ok, so maybe that last one is just me. But still…it’s rough you can meet a lot of people, but there’s a difference between knowing people and them being your friend.

Bottom line, moving to a new city alone gets lonely. Feeling lonely is frowned upon but when you’re lonely, you’re lonely. You can throw yourself into a wine tasting class or hang out with a group from Meet Me (which are pretty fun) but some days will be worse than others.

I don’t think there’s a way around these unhappy moments. You’re in a new city alone, away from family and familiarity, it’s not always going to be exciting. But I feel you should embrace the down moments and when it’s over, get back out there.

OK /rant I guess it’s time for The Joys…

You gain a new sense of self. Being in a new city alone gives you ample time to get to know yourself.

You meet a TON of new people. Your contact list in your phone will grow. You meet people everywhere you go, humans are generally nice. Hopefully some people you meet can turn into friendships.

There’s so much to explore when you move to a new city. You find new restaurants you like, go to different shows, develop new habits.

You’re seeing everything for the first time around a bunch of folks who’ve seen the same things for years. Your fresh perspective is valuable. In Arizona, there’s mountains, Sedona, 110 degree weather and dust storms. Things I’ve never seen before my mind is blown every day. It’s exciting… well until I almost passed out from dehydration, but that was new too!

Most importantly, the new city is yours for the taking and you can do whatever you want in it, whenever you want.

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