EMontWrites

So here’s the obligatory end of the year wrap up we all do. That post you make to talk about how this year changed you or reflect on how each year passes by so fast.

I’m not going to lie, 2018 was rough and I thought about not doing a wrap up post at all. I just wanted to get on with 2019, but I figured while things were rough there’s a lot I learned. So I’m here to share them with you:

1. It’s ok to say “no” the word NO is actually a complete sentence. I could have avoided most of the mess that was 2018 if I would have said no a few times. So naturally a resolution is to say “no” more in 2019. I don’t know why it’s so scary to say it, maybe it’s so definite or harsh, but it’s better to say it than do something you really didn’t want to do in the first place.
2. Spend some time away from your phone, or turn it off. I was addicted to checking my phone. It was the first thing I looked at when I opened my eyes. My newsfeed wasn’t giving me any substance but I’d scroll for an hour and rush to get ready for work. I started to feel tired a lot so I took a small break from social media and would leave my phone at home or turn it off for awhile. LIFE CHANGING. After doing that often I became less dependent on my phone and spent more time with myself and off social media.
3. Give back as often as you can. This photo up top is from the Journal Drive I did in January. With the help of the community I was able to give more than 300 journals to students and kids in the community. I realized that it’s so important to have an outlet, especially for kids who may not always want to tell people how they are feeling. The journal gave them something to write their feelings in. I hope that with the Drive some kids will are still writing in the journals to this day.
4. You can’t help everyone. Sometimes instead of helping you’re enabling. Sometimes people need to go through their own situation and you don’t need to help them.
5. Try to understand why someone would do what they did. Sometimes it’s about putting yourself in their shoes. Even though you’re hurt, if you try to understand where they’re coming from it might help you hurt a little less. They had to do what was best for them, which sucks (again) for us, but it has little to do with you and more to do with how they feel about themselves.
6. Don’t believe everything people say to you. Just because someone says something that sounds good or believable don’t put all your eggs in their basket. This year a handful of people let me down, but I believed what they told me. In the end they said what they needed to say to get what they needed.
7. Having a heart of gold (a good heart) is not a bad thing. You just have to learn how to guard your heart and not be so wiling to give it to people, not everyone deserves your good heart.
8. If you have to move to a new state, pay to break your lease before you leave or find someone to sublease it do. Don’t do anything else.
9. Get your credit right. Stop what you’re doing right now and check your credit score. I’m for real. If it’s not where it should be, work on it, get it there. You will thank me.
10. Sometimes you will have to do what you have to do before you can do what you want to do.
11. If you live in Phoenix (the desert) stay hydrated during the summer. Don’t do what I did and think you’re hydrated until you get a migraine and have to call in sick. If you’re not drinking water every hour, you should be. Fruit is a lifesaver too.
12. You can do anything you set your mind to. Like get up on stage two days in a row in front of 900 people and tell them your life story from being homeless to being happy and the family who helped you get off the street. It was the biggest thing I’d ever done in my life but I did it!! And it was awesome, so many people were touched and shared their stories with me. Ahhh!!!
13. Dance like no one is watching. Literally go out (with friends or alone) and hit the dance floor. Jam out like you were at home in your living room. Get your life and don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
14. I’m not “crazy,” you’re an asshole. (self explanatory) Also, if a guy tells you his ex “went crazy” or “got a little crazy” or “crazy” RUN from that guy. We women don’t just go crazy, something has to hurt us bad enough to spark that intense emotion.
15. Go on a trip alone. Perhaps the best experience of this year was taking a trip to Sedona, Arizona by myself. I have never felt so amazing than when I was there. My airbnb was upgraded and I experienced meditating under a copper pyramid, I drank coffee and at french toast while watching the sunrise on the back porch and I walked three times around the Stupa for healing and light. Alone.
16. Don’t be afraid to be that person who’s alone at a restaurant. I hate waiting on people to do anything, if I want to do something I just do it. That goes for going out to eat. A couple times a month I’ll take myself out to dinner or to see a movie. I’ve become that person eating a steak while reading a book. And you know what, that stake was good AF and so was the book!
17. Get up early. Having a few hours to yourself before you have to actually start getting ready for work can determine your whole day. I started getting up early and having my coffee, meditating and reading a motivational book or watching a motivational video on YouTube. Once I started doing that I felt so good and motivated to take on the day. I also became more organized which was hard for me. But waking up early gives me more hours in my day.
18. Get back to who you were before all the BS dimmed your shine. This might sound weird but scroll through your photo gallery, go all the way up before you met that guy, before you lost that friend, before all that BS happened and remember how you felt. Get back to that.
19. Self love is the best love. This year was tough but in the end I went through it all and found real love, in myself. I swear to you I have never felt this good about myself as I do right now. I have never felt a love like this before (que the Faith Evans song) but for real, the days I went on vacation and didn’t have to do anything but just sit with myself I was just so happy and felt so blessed. It has taken years to get here.
20. Switch up your mindset, the way you think about things. I found it was beneficial to look at situations from a birds-eye view, the bigger picture. When bad things happen I give myself the time I need to heal from it but I also try to look at it from a different perspective. Instead of looking at a situation from a “I’m sad, this sucks” perspective, switch it up to “how do I bounce back” “how can this sucky situation benefit me” “I overcame that” “I handled that!” you have the power of yourself, not anyone else. Act like it.